Monthly Archives: November 2014

E L James: ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ – in seven paragraphs

1. I gaze at the reflection of my nice face in a shiny mirror. I must establish an inner voice to work as a crude narrative device, my subconscious blurts out. Today I’m interviewing handsome entrepreneur Christian Grey for a … Continue reading

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Piers Morgan: ‘Shooting Straight’ – in seven paragraphs

May 2010. World-famous US President Barack Obama calls to offer me the job of Secretary of State. We’ve been best mates ever since I tipped him for greatness back in 2003: he has told me many times that he owes … Continue reading

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Luis Suarez: ‘Crossing the Line’ – in seven paragraphs

1. Before I leave you in the capable hands of my ghostwriters, who will describe some of the thoughts I may or may not have had during my football career, it is important that I begin with my time growing … Continue reading

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The Imitation Game – Film Review

The Imitation Game (12A) –¬†6/10 The tragedy of Alan Turing endures as one of the most shameful episodes in British post-war history. A brilliant mathematician and logician, Turing played a pivotal role in the cryptanalysis work undertaken at Bletchley Park … Continue reading

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Alastair Campbell: ‘The Blair Years’ – in seven paragraphs

1994: Blair elected leader. Labour leader John Smith dies unexpectedly. I mark the occasion with an impeccably observed four second silence. Scottish psychopath Gordon Brown is the overwhelming favourite to take over, but I realise Shadow Home Secretary Tony Blair … Continue reading

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Lena Dunham: ‘Not That Kind Of Girl’ – in seven paragraphs

1. It seems to me that writing my autobiography gives me the perfect platform to provide very little genuine insight about my life or emotions and instead guide you through the 439,102 times I flicked my bean during my college¬†years, … Continue reading

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Stephen Fry: ‘More Fool Me’ – in seven paragraphs

1. Although it is apparently required by law that I be referred to as a “National Treasure” whenever I am mentioned by anyone at any time, I take no pleasure in this. For in reality I am pitifully inadequate, riddled … Continue reading

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