Tag Archives: Condensed Version

Kevin Pietersen: ‘KP: The Autobiography’ – in seven paragraphs

We need to talk about Kevin. Specifically, we need to talk about all the times Kevin has been persecuted and victimised by the powers that be in English cricket, who exist for the sole purpose of ruining Kevin’s life. Kevin … Continue reading

Posted in Snark Notes | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Nigel Farage: ‘The Purple Revolution’ – in seven paragraphs

1. By the time you finish reading this sentence, over 150,000 unemployed Romanian single mothers will have entered the UK with the intention of claiming £40,000 per year in benefits and free cosmetic surgery on the NHS. It is a … Continue reading

Posted in Snark Notes | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Suzanne Collins: ‘The Hunger Games’ (Book One) – in seven paragraphs

1. I wake up. My time asleep was short. As short as these sentences. I look over at Prim, my angelic younger sister, and my mother. Because my dad was blown up in a mining accident five years ago, they … Continue reading

Posted in Snark Notes | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Morrissey: ‘Autobiography’ – in seven paragraphs

1. In the beginning there was Steven. Naturally, my birth almost kills my mother when my inflated head ruptures her birth canal. I emerge into the squalid light discussing modernism, having been seduced by Proust in utero. Thus begins a … Continue reading

Posted in Snark Notes | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Owen Jones: “The Establishment – And How They Get Away With It” – in seven paragraphs

1. What is the modern British Establishment? It is a vague concept. I ask Lord Butler, a wealthy old duffer and former Cabinet Secretary. “I’m not sure,” he says airily, his heels digging into Katie, a single mother on benefits … Continue reading

Posted in Snark Notes | Tagged , | 2 Comments

Gillian Flynn: ‘Gone Girl’ – in seven paragraphs

1. Nick Dunne – The Day Of Whenever I think of my wife Amy, I imagine her delicate skull and what it would feel like to scoop out her brain and decipher what she is thinking [Early hint: our marriage … Continue reading

Posted in Snark Notes | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Chris Kyle: ‘American Sniper’ – in seven paragraphs

1. Every story has a beginning. In keeping with the values of my Texan upbringing and my Christian faith, I have decided to start here on page one. I thank God for bestowing me with the wisdom to make this … Continue reading

Posted in Snark Notes | Tagged , | Leave a comment